Coming Through the Rye outtake by Mac214

Happy birthday to my favorite Canadian, BellaFlan! This special outtake was written just for her – Bella’s POV of chapter 23 from Coming Through the Rye… the infamous shower wank scene, or that scene where Bella finally removes her head from her rectal orifice. Enjoy, Flan! And then go get some…

"Go take a shower, would you? I can hear your stomach rumbling."

Edward chuckled at me, flashing me that grin that made my girly bits spontaneously combust, and then left for his shower. I sagged back against the counter, wondering how the hell I was going to make it through this trip without molesting him. I could still feel the spot on my neck where his lips had been.

Madge snarled at me and had my ovaries in a vice grip within seconds. Just fucking give in already! What more does he need to do?

She had a point. Edward had been nothing but amazing... not just since we got married, but since he’d decided to, as he put it, woo me. The dates, the way he was so solicitous of me - I’d never felt so special and cherished in my entire life.

I shivered and tried to ignore Madge as she pleaded with me to go jump Edward’s bones as I dug through the cabinets in Edward’s parents’ kitchen. Finally I found a small saucepan and ladled some of the baud bree into it. I understood Edward well enough because we’d been friends forever, but I wasn’t having such an easy time deciphering the accent of other local residents. Esme and Carlisle weren’t so tough to understand, but that chick Claire from the bar! I’d tried to play it off like I knew what the hell she was saying, but the only thing I really comprehended for sure was when she tried to grab BK at the table.

And why the hell was this soup called baud bree? Why not just call it rabbit soup? I rolled my eyes and stirred it with wooden spoon. Thank god Esme’s kitchen utensils were in a container on the counter; I hated rummaging through a stranger’s things. Well, come to that, I guess Esme couldn’t be considered a stranger - she was my mother-in-law.

The shower running in the room next door had my brain focusing not on the soup, but on Edward. Edward, who was wet and naked... in the next room. Just twenty feet away.

What are you waiting for, asshole? Go get our man! Madge yelled. For half a second I considered it. We were married. I was insanely in love with him. He had proven to me over and over that he could be trusted, that he really did love me, too. What are you waiting for, Bella?

What was I waiting for? I didn’t even know anymore. Maybe I would talk to him tonight before we went to bed. Nerves choked me as I considered what I would even say, given how reticent I’d been. Gee, Edward, I finally believe you love me. Wanna fuck?

Clan Cock! Clan Cock! Clan Cock! Madge chanted as I stirred the soup. No time like the present!

I shook my head, willing Madge to shut the hell up and let me think. I couldn’t just barge into the bathroom and announce my feelings... could I? The idea grew on me as I continued considering it, and finally I turned the burner on the electric range down to the lowest setting and hoped the soup wouldn’t scorch the pot.

Madge was shocked speechless that I’d finally decided on a course of action that was already physically making me ill. With every step I took, my heart pounded more, and a fine sheen of sweat broke out on my lower lip. It was chilly in the house, so the sweat could only be a result of my nervous spasticity.

I wiped my lip with my fingers and knocked tentatively on the bathroom door before pushing it open.

"Hey, uh, can I come in?"

"Aye, of course. Are ye okay?" Madge immediately started humming her version of porn music in my head, to which I growled in response because it reminded me of Senna. I did not want to be thinking of Senna and Edward while I was getting up the guts to do this.

I closed the door behind me and looked around for some place to sit. I didn’t want to sit on the toilet; lid closed or not, it just felt weird to me. The sink countertop was really the only other option, so I heaved my ass up and hoped it was sturdy.

"Oh, er, yeah,” I answered. “The soup is on the stove. I turned it to low, though, so it's not like I'm going to burn the house down." I hoped.

"I'm sure my mither would thank ye fer yer efforts." She might not be so thrilled with me if I ruined her saucepan. Maybe you can sex up her son instead, Madge suggested innocently.

I snickered and smacked the shower curtain. “Shut up." I wasn’t sure if I was talking to Madge or Edward.

"Hey, Edward?" The shower curtain was white and kind of opaque. I could see the peachy tone of Edward’s skin through it and vaguely discern his movements. God, that was so fucking sexy. I closed my eyes and tried to think of something coherent to say.

"Aye?"

"Thanks for bringing me here. I'm really having a good time." That was okay... it didn’t sound too stupid.

"Yer welcome, lass. It's nice tae have ye wi' me."

He started talking about the weather or some shit; I couldn’t really pay attention because Madge was singing dirty Prince songs again. Both of us nearly choked on our tongues when I realized Edward looked like he might be touching his dick. His blurry arm seemed to be moving in, well... that way.

"Edward?"

"Uh huh?"

"Are you jerking off?" Whoa! Where did that come from? Sure, I’d been thinking it, but I hadn’t planned on actually asking out loud.

After a moment’s pause, he answered. "Aye."

My brain completely overloaded. He was masturbating... in the shower... naked... less than three feet from me. Before I even knew what I was doing, my hand was on BK. It felt like I was having an out of body experience as I gazed down at my fingers wrapped around his thick shaft. I couldn’t even get my hand around it all the way, which freaked me out a little. How had I fit that thing inside me? More to the point, why wasn’t my memory of that night we’d had sex better?

Madge was pretty much hyperventilating as both of stared, noticing for the first time the way Edward’s foreskin so easily rode up and down on his cock as I stroked him. Goddamn, he had a pretty dick. And it was so freaking soft... it felt silky and hot, much hotter than the steaming water washing suds over my hand and the bottom of my sleeve.

I wanted him so badly my legs were shaking. And not just BK... I wanted it all with him - the sex, the marriage, everything that went with it. I wanted to yell at Edward for farting in bed when we were 80 years old and Edward had hair growing out of his ears. Granted, we’d definitely have to get a new apartment - I doubted either of us would be able to climb that damn ladder to the loft with arthritis.

Who cares about the motherfucking ladder? Madge screeched. Get back to BK! Awwwwwww, yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

"Oh, god, Bella, faster.” Edward groaned and leaned against the tile with his hand, his eyes clenching shut for a moment. His hips started thrusting BK into my hand, and I pumped faster as he’d requested. Far be it from me to deny him what he wanted. Hell, I’d never deny him anything ever again. And, Jesus, his face! His eyebrows knit together just before he came, and then his mouth went slack, his whole face relaxing into insane gorgeousness. I came very close to pulling off my clothes and begging him to fuck me there on the bathroom floor but managed to pull my shit together. I took a deep breath and rinsed the come off my hand. He watched me with wide eyes.

"Was that okay?"

Edward snorted and turned off the water, turning toward me with a lazy grin on his face. "Was that okay? Ye just had yer hand on my boaby. O'coorse tha' was okay."

I chuckled and grabbed the towel off the rack, wondering if he really thought that was all there was to what I’d done. A hand job probably didn’t make it super clear I was telling him I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and trusted him.

"That's not exactly a ringing endorsement."

He tore the towel from my hand and covered up BK, much to my - and Madge’s - dismay. I sidestepped to let him out of the tub, but he leaned into me until I was flush against the door of the bathroom. I smiled, mostly to stop my teeth from chattering. I wasn’t cold, just nervous.

"Whit... I mean, why did ye do tha'?"

Edward’s chest was still wet, the hair there matted down. I couldn’t resist touching him, so I placed my palms on his chest; I could feel his heart beat under my fingers. He raised his hand to my face, nudging along my jaw.

"Er, well, I am your wife." I wanted to be... for real.

"Aye, tha's true enoogh, but it's nae something ye've done fer me, wife or no."

"I, uh. I just... felt like it was right."

And it did. Even though I was incredibly freaked out and second guessing myself, I never doubted my decision to move our relationship forward, and I never doubted Edward’s feelings for me. Madge was blissfully quiet, although I suspected it was less about being nice and more about trying to get another look at BK.

I gasped when Edward ran his teeth over my earlobe, his rough stubble dragging against my skin. Everything between my legs seemed to liquify and tremble at his touch.

"Are ye tryin' tae tell me ye want tae be wi' me? Tha' ye think - "

Without a word, I grabbed his face and kissed him, pouring every single bit of longing I’d had for him over the last two years into it. He hesitated for a second and then attacked my mouth, sliding his tongue against mine and grinding his hips into me. My tailbone was digging into the door behind me, and it was just this side of painful.

He released my lips and dragged his nose down the side of my neck, pushing the fabric of my sweater away from my collarbone with his face and sucking on the skin there while running his hands up my ribs, gathering my sweater. I moaned and grasped his wet hair, hooking my foot around his leg. He ducked his head and shoved my sweater up further before pulling my boob out of my bra. My nipples were hard, and it felt amazing when his tongue flicked over my freed skin. Every inch of me was sensitive and aching for more of his touch.

That’s when it all went to hell - Esme’s voice carried through the house, making us jump apart.

"Shite.”

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Madge wailed. I was in total agreement. Fuck.
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A/N: So, Flan… did it live up to your expectations? I wish you many good things on your birthday, including but not limited to good booze, fantastic food (figs, etc), even more fantastic dick, and a buttercream cock of your very own.

Thanks to the usuals: Askthemagic8ball and Viola Cornuta for beta editing and Jules, Claire, and sncmom for prereading. Ryeward lurves you, BellaFlan, and so do I. Happy birthday!